I Want your Sex
Issue date : 06/25/2008
You know we’re a leather store, right?”
Right, so 665 Leather & Fetish Company was obviously not the brightest place to start looking for vegan sex toys in L.A. It would not be the last time I was shamed while researching how to green your sex life.
What, you thought the Great Eco-Revolution would infiltrate your refrigerator, your gas tank and your medicine cabinet, and politely steer clear of your bedside table’s fun drawer? Even I’m not that naïve, and I called West Hollywood’s go-to depot for leather ball stretchers for advice on playthings that would pass PETA muster.
There’s been a mild uprising among some hardcore greenies who say that sensational topics such as this one are impeding the progress of environmentalism; that they’re just a way of sexing up sustainability to sell more crap. And even though they’re annoying, they’re also kind of right – inevitably, the bottom-line answer to going green in any room of the house is to buy less crap. But because the recycle/reuse method is not recommended with Trojans, and because the crap you’re using may be giving you cancer – surprise, there are many a carcinogenic dildo out there – this is one eco-trend to get behind, pun fully intended.
Step one: If you can avoid making babies, especially American ones, who pollute more than most other nations’ babies, that’s a great start.
Stork repellant is often as simple as putting a reservoir tip to good use, but anyone who’s had the misfortune of spotting a derelict condom on the sand should realize the pesky problem with these landfill-cramming puppies. While silicone and latex are recyclable, neither decomposes, and research has not yielded any community waste collection systems that covertly accept used rubbers. Skip the lambskin – no raging case of Chlamydia ever helped the planet. Our best bet is to minimize the impact: Buy in bulk, do not flush the evidence, and consider going vegan with Glyde condoms or Legends – bizarrely, yet somehow appropriately, most latex has a dairy derivative in it.
That last Bill Nye-ish tidbit is courtesy of Krys Fox, an enormously helpful sex educator at The Pleasure Chest, where eco-conscious kink is now thriving. The WeHo store stocks six different kinds of organic lubricants by Good Clean Love, as well as those cow-sparing condoms and rechargeable playthings. Fox insists that little is known about the makeup of toys used where the sun don’t shine, and that should definitely freak you out: “The shocking thing is that there are stricter regulations for animal chew toys than for adult sex toys,” he says. Sex toy waste is basically a biohazard; the toxic, PVC-softening phthalates (that’s the possibly cancerous part) that make your Goodboi all squishy and lifelike are suspected to seep out when exposed to warmth, moisture, and the other effluvia from what Dear Abby once called “heavy petting.” Ecosexuals advocate recyclable glass goodies, whose production is nontoxic and harmless. Don’t-sue-me advice for idiots: Using your glass dildo after you’ve recently chipped it may considerably lessen your pleasure, unless you’re into that.
I may be a rookie when it comes to the ball-stretching world of L.A. erotica, but really, the sheer volume of environmentally sound substitutes available to so-called sexual deviants (so-called by my grandmother, anyway) boggles the mind. It’s a veritable Whole Foods of fucking out there! There are fair-trade spanking paddles made from reclaimed wood or recycled tires (the material also used to make the cleverly named InHerTube harnesses), rechargeable vibrators, leather-free collars and cuffs, natural rope floggers, and quick-fix ways to repair inflatable sheep (Bike tire patches – and to think of how many little lambs you’ve needlessly sent to pasture over the years!). But my award for hands-down favorite green sex toy goes to the Solar Sensation vibrator, which gets you off with the awesome power of Ra. Remember all that “end of the world” chatter in last week’s issue? Meet the post-apocalyptic pleasure dome. One can only hope that the planet’s escalating temperatures will mean the eternal life of this magical buddy, which charges after five hours in the sun.
Whether or not the end is near (it is), and whether or not the U.S. is bringing it about (we are), no one can say our fine country isn’t doing its part to decrease sex-related crimes against mother Gaia. The 2007/2008 Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey tells us that while we Americans spend nearly three hours every week grooming ourselves, we devote less than a third of that to sex – pathetically, that includes foreplay. We get busy once every 4.3 days, just 85 times a year, far less than the global average of 103 yearly bangs. If that doesn’t make you sad, and inspire you to go right out and buy yourself and your partner a recyclable glass dildo, well, I just don’t know.
Source : http://www.lacitybeat.com